Fear Is Not the Father's Language
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
Peddling fear should never be the job of the Church. Neither should it be the occupation of a Christian.
Yet fear has been, and continues to be, used to motivate people to follow Jesus. But nothing could be further from God’s heart. Jesus is the way to the Father— a Father whose only motivation is love.
Have you ever come across a church hosting a “Hell house” as a means of frightening or shocking people into accepting Jesus, and thus avoiding Hell? I remember hearing of these seasonal events back in the nineties, but such “evangelistic methods” never sat well with me. I’ve never been to a Hell House, and I don’t intend to, but I was surprised to discover there are still many of them around.
As someone who has struggled with fear, both before and after becoming a Christian, I can honestly say that fear has never brought me closer to God. Rather, it was an encounter with his love that finally set me free from the bondage of fear. So why would we ever choose fear as a tool for helping people encounter God? Scaring people into salvation (if that is even possible) paints a false image of the character of God. Honestly, the mere idea makes me feel ill. No wonder some Christians have no idea they are loved, and many non-Christians run the other direction when someone tries to “share the gospel.”
Hell houses aside, how often have we as Christians been led to believe that God is frightening? Perhaps we can easily relate to Jesus as our friend and confidant, but the Father seems more like a harsh master or exacting judge. Maybe we’ve never even thought that a relationship with our heavenly Father is possible.
Many factors can influence our perception of God, and particularly that of God the Father. Our own family experiences undoubtedly shape this view, but the Church bears a particular responsibility in portraying the character of God to those both inside and outside its walls. But what message have we conveyed?
Sadly, many Christians have been given an image of a god we can’t quite trust—a father who is distant and not terribly interested in us until we mess up, only waiting for an opportunity to punish us. Nothing could be further from the truth. God is love, and he wants his children to live in that reality. (1 John 4:8)
You may be thinking, “But I’m just a sinner, why should I feel worthy of God’s love?” Beloved, God loves you because he created you. You are unique and precious to him. He doesn’t want you to spend your life cowering in fear of him, he wants you to sit at his table and feast with him. Sin is real, but it is not your identity.
“Fear of the Lord” or “Fear of God” is mentioned over 100 times in scripture, but it is often misunderstood. Proverbs is a great place to examine what is meant by these somewhat confusing words. Proverbs 9:10 tells us “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Fear in this context does not mean “terror.” Rather, it means to honor God, relating to him with reverence and awe. And when we begin to understand the depth of his goodness and love toward us, there really is no other way to relate to him.
I think it’s interestesting that “fear not” (or “do not be afraid”) also appears in scripture over 100 times. This is God’s intent for all of us—to live our lives consumed by his love, free from the chains of fear. Accordingly, fear, in the standard meaning of the word, has no place in evangelism or discipleship. God is a father who loves his children. Any other message presented by the Church is a dangerous distortion of the gospel. Misunderstanding our relationship with our heavenly Father can prevent us from experiencing the fullness of God’s love.
What words would you use to describe God the Father? Maybe there’s a disconnect between the words you think you should use and the words that ring true to your heart. Is he present or absent? Tender or harsh? Are you accepted or rejected by him? Does he see you as a servant or a precious child? Your answers to these questions can reveal a lot about the condition of your heart.
But even in our confusion and lack of clarity, God does’t condemn us. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1) He simply calls us closer to his heart. It is in intimacy that we begin to understand his true character—to trust in his goodness and understand that he is truly for us.
There is so much more to the Christian life than to live merely “as one escaping through the flames.” (1 Cor 3:15). There is love, joy, and peace to be experienced now—but we miss this when we see God as a distant or wrathful judge rather than the present and loving Father he is.
The good news is not simply that you’ve been saved from Hell but that the Creator of the Universe is your real and loving Father. We entirely miss the point if we view the gospel as transactional rather than relational, forfeiting the joy of experiencing his love in the present.
God commands us to love one another, but we cannot fulfill this command unless we receive his love. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19) Do you know in your heart that you are loved by God? It’s okay, if you can’t honestly say yes. I stood in that place for many years.
God understands the wounds and fear that leave us in doubt, and he always invites us to experience more of his love. Perfect love really does drive out fear—and that perfect love is God himself.
If you are experiencing uncertainly in this area today, pray with me…
Father, thank you for loving me right now.
I confess that I don’t always feel loved and accepted, but I ask that you would reveal more of your heart to me.
My head so often gets in the way, but help me to understand in my heart the true depth of your love for me.
Touch the places in my heart that need your healing and fill me with more of your love.
Show me how to live from a place of love, joyfully loving others from the overflow of your love.
Free me from bondage to fear and help me to see myself, others, and the world around me through your eyes.
Thank you that your love never fails.
‘Sometimes healing comes by waving the white flag of surrender when everyone else is telling you to stay in the fight.’
