My Heart Breaks for Greta Thunberg
We've all seen her this week. The young woman, a girl really, who is passionately fighting climate change. Many have praised her for her vision and courage. Others have criticized her for taking a place that she is not yet experienced enough to have earned. Those who have given her that pedestal, everyone from world leaders to her own parents, have perhaps in equal parts received both accolades and derision. The only thing this makes me feel is sadness.
I'm not writing this to make any sort of statement about climate change. (Can we all just agree to take better care of our planet?) I'm writing this because my heart hurts for this young woman. Many have noted that Greta has Asperger's Syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, as well as Selective Mutism. When I read that, it was the OCD that jumped off the page at me. As someone who has struggled with severe OCD, I know that there is a lot of misunderstanding about what this disorder actually is. It doesn't mean you are "particular" about certain things. It doesn't mean that you like to organize closets or straighten picture frames. And it isn't a funny little quirk.
The National Institute of Mental Health describes OCD as a "chronic and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over." Generally, these obsessions are fear-based, and Greta seems to be driven greatly by fear.
I can't imagine what it would have been like if, in the midst of the irrational thoughts being driven by my OCD, there was no one to come alongside me and gently say, "It's not really as bad as all that. It's going to be okay." I needed that assurance. I needed to be tethered to reality. To be trapped in my own uncontrollable and unending fear-cycle with no one to speak peace or hope into my heart sounds like a living Hell. My heart breaks for Greta.
Her words to world leaders in Davos speak volumes. I want you to panic. I want you to feel the fear I feel every day. I had those days too, Greta. I wanted people around me to recognize and understand what I was feeling. On one level, I believed that if others acknowledged my fears, if they felt what I felt, I would feel less alone, less (dare I use the word) crazy. But at the same time, that was not what I needed. I needed people to come by my side and speak life and love to me -- to NOT agree with my panicked, fear-wrought thoughts of disaster and death. I would never have wanted to be thrust onto a pedestal in the midst of my illness, and I have a hard time seeing how this can be healing for Greta.
Oh Greta, I feel your pain. I really do. How it eats you from the inside out. How it compels you to act. How it leaves you feeling trapped. And I want you to know freedom.
But more fear is not what the world needs -- and it's not what will heal you either, Greta. The world is a mess in so many ways, but fear can never be the answer. We need to dig deeper and find the hope that we carry within; and yes, I know that you've said you don't want our hope. But that's no way to live. The human heart withers when bound by fear. We need to receive and lavishly spread the one thing that is life-giving. There is no substitute for LOVE. It is the thing that gives hope. And I pray, Greta, that you would experience the perfect love that casts out fear. May your heart and mind be free.
