Surrender in the Face of Fear
“If you ever let Fear begin painting a picture on the screen of your imagination, you will walk with fear and trembling and agony, where no fear is. ”
There’s a plethora of books on the market these days about how to overcome fear. Some come from a secular perspective, but many are more spiritually focused. These books give tips to harnessing our thought life and defeating our debilitating fears. Over the years, I’ve read many of these books but, honestly, nothing helped my ongoing struggle with fear. You see, I thought I was the one who had to take control. Sadly, this assumption couldn’t have been more wrong.
It’s been several years now since I’ve struggled with the kind of fear that completely consumed me. But this week, I felt that old unease starting to rise up. I’ve learned that there are two areas in my life where I’m easily triggered to fall into fear. The first is anything that has to do with my children’s well-being. Normal mom instinct, right? I’ve had to learn to trust that, as they grow, they are in God’s hands. I’m not helping anything by worrying. Still, I have my moments. The other area is health, mine or any member of my family’s. And again, God has done so much in this area of my life. The more I step into his love, the more I am able to trust that his plans for me are good. That doesn’t mean I’ll never experience pain or struggle; but he loves me, and he’s always willing to fight the battle for me.
So what caused that old, unwanted fear to rise to the surface? Coronavirus. You see, my husband and I are leaving tomorrow for a month of ministry in Southeast Asia. I’ve read all the statistics, and my rational mind knows that the odds of contracting this virus are extremely low. But then the what-ifs start to poke their ugly little heads up into my thought process. What if this virus gets out of control in one of the four countries we’ll be visiting? What if it mutates and becomes more deadly? What if we get stuck in a quarantine situation and can’t come home? I could go on and on…
So what is the solution? Fight harder? Repeat positive affirmations ad nauseam? Beat myself up for falling into fear again and again? Well, the real solution is surrender. I needed to let go of my desire for control. Yesterday, as I prayed with a precious friend in the Netherlands, she reminded me that I didn’t need to beat myself up or have it all figured out. My part was simply to put my hand in Jesus’ and let his love guide me. Oh, the relief! Being reminded that the battle is not mine allowed me to see around my fear.
Are you caught in a battle with fear? I want you to know that, through his love, God offers a way out of the darkness. Are you willing to let him lead you? The truth is this: We fear because we are not yet made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)
It took me a long time to understand what stepping out of fear could even look like, and certainly God is still revealing more of his truth to me. I’m thankful that I have experienced enough of this freedom that I can now recognize when I falter, giving fear the upper hand. And I have confidence that God can meet me there with his grace and love. My act of surrender is never in vain.
A book that was a precious gift as I struggled to step out of fear is Hannah Hurnard’s Hinds Feet on High Places. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I cannot think of a more beautiful depiction of encountering the One who is Love, and I’ve seriously lost track of how many copies I’ve given away. It is an allegory about a young woman, appropriately called Much-Afraid, who journeys from her home in the Valley of Humiliation to follow the Shepherd to the High Places. She travels with her companions Sorrow and Suffering while being pursued by an unwanted suitor, Craven Fear. It is a glorious story of transformation. I’ve never been a huge fan of allegories, but this one went straight for my heart and never let go. I reread this little treasure every so often, and it always has a way of speaking to me anew.
If you find yourself standing in the Valley of Humiliation or being pursued by Craven Fear, then please let me encourage you to find a copy of this Christian classic. Here’s a short except that I hope will speak to your heart today:
“Please plant Love in my heart now,” she said faintly. Poor little soul, she was still Much-Afraid even when promised the greatest thing in the world. The Shepherd put his hand in his bosom, drew something forth, and laid it in the palm of his hand. Then he held his hand out toward Much-Afraid.
“Here is the seed of Love,” he said. She bent forward to look, then gave a startled little cry and drew back. There was indeed a seed lying in the palm of his hand, but it was shaped exactly like a long, sharply-pointed thorn… ‘The seed looks very sharp,’ she said shrinkingly. ’Won’t it hurt if you put it into my heart?’
He answered gently, ‘It is so sharp that it slips in very quickly. But, Much-Afraid, I have already warned you that Love and Pain go together, for a time at least. If you would know Love, you must know pain too.’
Much-Afraid looked at the thorn and shrank from it. Then she looked at the Shepherd’s face and repeated his words to herself. ’When the seed of Love in your heart is ready to bloom, you will be loved in return,’ and a strange new courage entered her. She suddenly stepped forward, bared her heart, and said, ‘Please plant the seed here in my heart.’
His face lit up with a glad smile and he said with a note of joy in his voice, ‘Now you will be able to go with me to the High Places and be a citizen in the Kingdom of my Father.’
Then he pressed the thorn into her heart. It was true, just as he had said, it did cause a piercing pain, but it slipped in quickly and then, suddenly, a sweetness she had never felt or imagined before tingled through her. It was bittersweet, but the sweetness was the stronger. She thought of the Shepherd’s words, ‘It is so happy to love,’ and her pale, sallow cheeks suddenly glowed pink and her eyes shown. For a moment Much-Afraid did not look afraid at all.
May these words be a blessing to you today as you embrace his gift of love.
