Surrender in the Face of Fear (Part II)
“God is willing to maintain our life. Only let our absolute surrender be one of simple, childlike, and unbounded trust.”
What does it look like to surrender control?
Maybe the mere suggestion causes your heart to skip a beat. Does it conjure up images of chaos or calamity? Missed deadlines or failed exams? Piles of laundry or germ-infested bathrooms? There are oh so many ways we try to keep control over our lives.
It’s so easy think we can keep our lives on track by keeping our hands firmly on the reins. And when things begin to go wrong, it’s natural to want to hold on tighter. Sometimes we hold on so tightly that we lose all ability to discern that we are headed in the wrong direction, or that a simple correction would make a huge difference.
How many of us parents have tried to micromanage the affairs of a struggling teenager? We’re just trying to help, right? Or maybe you’ve experienced the fear and control that can take hold in the midst of chronic illness, thinking you can gain control over your disease by regulating every aspect of your life. It feels so necessary when we’re in the midst of it, but control is so exhausitng. It smothers you, ultimately draining you of your joy and stealing your freedom.
When we surrender our control to the one who is all-powerful, we are free to rest. And in rest we can once again experience joy and peace. You see, when we let go of control, we’re no longer spinning our wheels trying to figure it out or create a particular outcome.
In my last post, I wrote about the fear that was bubbling up in relation to my upcoming trip to Southeast Asia. I didn’t try to hide my fears from God or attempt to beat them back myself. (For the record, that used to be my approach. It fails every time.) Instead, my husband and I brought our concerns before God. We asked for his guidance and protection. We thanked him for his love. The outcome of that prayer was a complete sense of peace that we could go ahead with our trip. And I’m so glad we did!
Sure, there were a few moments when that fear would start to bubble up again, but having given my fears to God in the first place, it was easier to go back to him and ask for more peace. And he gives abundantly!
Throughout our time in Asia, the COVID-19 panic I’d imagined never actually materialized. Our time was both restful and fruitful. We had wonderful encounters with beautiful people, and I wouldn’t trade our time there for anything. If I’d succumbed to my fears, I would have missed out on what God had for me in Asia. I also would not have recognized the potential for new relationships and future adventures.
But God has some different plans for the coming weeks. With new travel restrictions, ever increasing cancellations and preparedness recommendations, we must all be wise in our social interactions; but we must also be careful to resist the temptation to try and seize control. We’ve now had to cancel a ministry trip to Finland that my husband and I were both looking forward to. My daughter will be finishing her sophomore year of college at home, and we have no idea if any of us will be attending my son’s high school graduation; BUT we have found remarkable peace despite the circumstances.
Surrendering our plans, our expectations, and our fears has opened up space for us to enjoy the present. We get to enjoy having our children home with us for the foreseeable future. I have time to slow down. I get to read and write and soak up some sun on my patio. Who knows? Maybe I’ll finally finish my manuscript. It is a privilege to be able to release my plans into the hands of the one who loves me. And what a relief that I don’t have to be the one in control!
